Global warming unthaws warrior mermaids and mermen frozen during last ice age
Global warming has unthawed an entire race of warrior mermen and mermaids in the Arctic, scientists revealed today. At a packed press conference in Boulder, Colorado, Dr. Mark Xyzzy of the National Institute for Cryosphere Exploration and Tertiary Research on Yetis (NICETRY) revealed the details of the discovery: "We've been operating robot research submarines under the sea ice in the Chukchi Sea north of Barrow, Alaska this winter, as part of International Geophysical Year studies on the dynamics of arctic sea ice loss," commented Dr. Xyzzy. "Last week, one of our submersibles caught a remarkable video of a warrior mermaid, armed with a trident, riding past the submarine on the back of a narwhal. We were able to track the mermaid to her home--an underwater merfolk city at the bottom of the Chukchi Sea. The city had been thawed out in 2005 by warm water currents invading the Arctic due to global warming. These mermaids and mermen had been frozen into the underwater permafrost since the onset of the last ice age, 115,000 years ago. We undertook immediate efforts to establish communications with the merfolk, by sending in divers with underwater writing boards who were able to work out a simple symbol-based language. We learned that the Chukchi Sea merfolk are at war with a tribe of rival merfolk in the Greenland Sea. The two tribes have been fighting a heated underwater battle for dominance of the Arctic Ocean ever since global warming thawed out both tribes in 2005. It is the explosions from their undersea battles that have been the dominant cause of arctic sea ice loss since 2005, not global warming, as had been previously assumed. A team of experienced United Nations negotiators is now in the Arctic, attempting to broker a truce between the rivals and save the arctic sea ice from further destruction."

Figure 1. Merfolk negotiator Urgok Nzgradborkan and an exhausted U.N. diplomat take a break after a grueling all-night round of peace talks.
Critics of climate change science immediately pounced upon the news to unleash a new barrage of criticism against the National Intergovernmental and Territorial Panel to Investigate Climate Change (NITPICC). "The computer climate models used by the NITPICC utterly failed to anticipate the record loss of arctic sea ice due to underwater explosions from merfolk battles," commented spokesman Markoff Chaney of the Very Competitive Free Enterprise Institute. The Institute maintains of staff of top-notch scientists who swear that their funding from the fossil fuel industry does not affect the objectivity of their science. "This new "mermaid-gate" scandal proves that we can't trust climate models to say diddly-squat that's right about global warming, nah-nah-na-nah-nah!" taunted Chaney.
The head of NITPICC, Dr. R. J. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname, conceded that his organization had some work to do. "We're working very hard to incorporate the effect of underwater explosions from merfolk sea battles into the NITPICC models," said Dr. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname. "We've also begun to explore the impacts on sea ice should other denizens of the Arctic unthaw. For instance, the possibility exists that plesiosaurs from the time of the dinosaurs may be frozen in the underwater arctic permafrost. Should global warming thaw out these great leviathans of the deep, the turbulence from their swimming motions could cause significant cracking and breakup of the sea ice. We now have a new plesiosaur parameterization module built into our top models to account for this possibility."
Dr. Xyzzy of NICETRY commented, "I applaud NITPICC's efforts to incorporate their Underwater Merfolk Battle Module and Plesiosaur Parameterization Module into the climate models. However, I caution that they might also need to build modules to simulate the effects of astrology, thermography, ice-nine, and the warming effect of hot air coming out of Washington politicians, before critics of the NITPICC models will be satisfied."
April Fools!
Internet radio appearance today
I'll be appearing with San Francisco-based wunderground meteorologists Shaun Tanner and Tim Roche on The Daily Downpour Internet radio show at 4:20 pm EDT today, to talk about weather, hurricanes, and climate change. There will not be the opportunity to call in today. No foolin'!
Jeff Masters
Reader Comments
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2004 March-April sea-level pressure anomalies:
Not a bad idea. Could provide someone with some material for their thesis. Could prove interesting.
You should try trade winds...
Yes, definitely a scary sight to see a bunch of squirrels with passports in their paws running around. LOL (Only joking) I have witnesssed the same.
Since there is levity in the air today (rather than the AG* word; any time arguments break out I will post on efficiency!) I will give examples of how this site really has helped over the years of lurking and looking at the comments.
Above all it helped to prevent a disasterous evacuation during Rita. While a computational fluid dynamics geek myself I have to admit that I can do nothing myself and have to rely on the comments of others; I was holding off to the last minute anyway (but if it were a 5 headed to Houston I would have been out of there eventually) but it became fairly clear that it was headed towards the stateline quite a ways in advance. Of course the National Weather Service didn't tell anybody this and the day of landfall I got a panicked call from my mother wondering why I was still in Houston with my family (we are at 53 feet.... no flooding danger) and it is like, "Mom, this thing ain't headed towards Houston." Once again, folks at my elevation are not in the evacuation zone but nobody wants to stay around for a cat 5, especially with young kids.
Another real useful product for me has been the degreedays.net site. Hey, in the process of getting 55% better energy use (with the exception of solar, which INCREASED my carbon footprint since the backup was both inefficient AND seriously against code as I learned later) one does a lot one spends a lot of time graphing AC and heating use.
Here was the latest application. Obviously in Houston one likes to plant as early as possible, but this year we had a cold year (although I don't think any records were broken, except for earliest snow). I kept monitoring long range forecasts and went for it in early February with a new bed with about 100 new Texas Native type bushes (have about 300 total). A light freeze is fine but heavies like the early January one would have been a killer. Also got a bit lucky; on the weekend of the extreme cold in January went by the nursery to discuss design of the project and what could go where (knew that nobody would be there) and got 4 trays of free plants that he was getting rid of owing to looks. They all survived planting that weekend without any potting soil; straight into the newly dug Houston gumbo. Turned out they were all red, lavender, and white dyanthis and snapdragons (didn't know the color). And further luck, I am using red mulch and trim because of the solar reflectivity. So everything magically matched.
Wow.
And folks are just beginning to plant :)
Checked....absolutely no correlation with Caribbean hurricane activity. It's random. In fact every year since 2004 has seen faster-than-normal trade winds in the western Caribbean from December to March, with the exception of 2005 which had slow trades in March, but fast trades before that.
Of course this is all without knowing about the mangos. I'd like to know what they did in every year since 2004, except Stormwatcher said Ivan in 2004 wiped away the fruit for a while. But, years like 2006 should have seen less fruit, and years like 2004, 2005, and 2007 should have seen more.
I asked my folks, and my mom says they used to look at spring tides and so on. Higher than average tides mean it was likely to be busier than normal. She says they also associated dry springs with rainy / stormy hurricane seasons. My dad says they also paid a lot of attention to changes in the skies. I guess none of this is really surprising in a seafaring pple whose livelihood at least partially depended on what they could harvest from the sea. Both my grandfather on one side and my greatgrandfather on the other were sailing sloop captains in the 1920s to 1940s, and they would not have had access to radio, radar or other modern devices. Even a barometer would have been considered a sophisticated and expensive tool in those relatively impoverished times.
The answer is probably something very complex that we will never be able to understand.
Genius.
Lexx and the Stranglets also took note.
HadronCollider
Personally, I'm more concerned about the rapid collider experiment this week.
That's correct, however, it never hurts to check.
Yes but in the Caribbean it highly depends on where the anomalies are and what the strength of the Columbian Heat Low is. Like I said the trades for the last 6 years were mostly stronger than normal in the winter, despite variations in pressure anomalies over the western Caribbean. You have to get a gradient. If the whole area has either low pressure or high pressure then the relative pressure gradient of the environment is still the same for either situation.
Indeed...it's too bad that I'm terrible at researching anything that I don't already have a bunch of links to. Googling is overrated.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hmbt1xB2HMz-xdvtcGB2KNhAp3ZAD9EPL5900
Yep... Interesting read
Someone should find the saw grass blooming quote from the natives leaving as everyone stayed to pick in SFL cause it was paying too much to leave~ then the lake got them. Think it was 1928.
Here is the crux of the matter:
Although nuclei do not decay to strangelets, there are other ways to create strangelets, so if the strange matter hypothesis is correct there should be strangelets in the universe. There are at least three ways they might be created in nature:
Cosmogonically, i.e., in the early universe when the QCD confinement phase transition occurred. It is possible that strangelets were created along with the neutrons and protons which form ordinary matter.
High energy processes. The universe is full of very high-energy particles (cosmic rays). It is possible that when these collide with each other or with neutron stars they may provide enough energy to overcome the energy barrier and create strangelets from nuclear matter.
Cosmic ray impacts. In addition to head-on collisions of cosmic rays, ultra high energy cosmic rays impacting on Earth's atmosphere may create strangelets.
These scenarios offer possibilities for observing strangelets. If there are strangelets flying around the universe, then occasionally a strangelet should hit Earth, where it would appear as an exotic type of cosmic ray. If strangelets can be produced in high energy collisions, then we might make them at heavy-ion colliders.
And we all know what Strangelets do.
Good evening all
If the strange matter hypothesis is correct and a strangelet comes in contact with a lump of ordinary matter such as Earth, it could convert the ordinary matter to strange matter.[12][13] This "ice-nine" disaster scenario is as follows: one strangelet hits a nucleus, catalyzing its immediate conversion to strange matter. This liberates energy, producing a larger, more stable strangelet, which in turn hits another nucleus, catalyzing its conversion to strange matter. In the end, all the nuclei of all the atoms of Earth are converted, and Earth is reduced to a hot, large lump of strange matter.
Hi KmanIslander.
We're working on getting you some rain.
NHC Conference:
But still an intriguing proposition.
I would think they could sense air pressure changes. I can.
And I only thought the Bufo was an annoying cacophony from the everglades.
Toad is a telltale for impending quakes: scientists
Thanks for the update, btw.
Yeah...this is from a paper on the storm.
Many efforts were made to warn people about the hurricane. Local folklore accounts state that Seminole Indians sensed that a storm was approaching. Some document that the Indians noticed the migration of sea birds, unusual blooming of the saw grass and the unnatural activity of the wildlife. The Seminoles tried to warn residents of the Everglades and Lake Okeechobee areas. Few took heed. Those that did leave the area with the Native Americans were spared.
Then this is from another document:
My mango tree is in full bloom now and so is my lime tree and my breadfruit tree. I am going to go out on a limb here, pardon the pun, and call for an above average hurricane season based upon the abovementioned factors.
http://www.peoplesobold.net/2005/09/saw-grass-blooming-indigenous.html
Link
Ouch... Porto Rico must have been devastated by that storm.
I think you're due for a soaking.
We're not having the El Nino this year, looks like more neutral conditions. Was shear that saved you last year.
Shear and African dust saved us.
This year we have had week after week of one cold front after another. In fact, several weeks have seen two a week. Previous years like this have seen above average activity in the following season so I am expecting that this year will likely see a few close calls for the Caribbean with a couple of strikes.
The real issue is where the Bermuda high sets up.If it bridges back to the SE US we could see big trouble in the Caribbean
Just be prepared for a deluge.
God is generous and indiscriminate.
Cool link Baha:
"Going to high ground. Saw-grass bloom. Hurricane coming."
Zora Neal Hurston was a lyrical writer.
Lime trees like it dry. My breadfruit tree did drop a couple but the rest are holding and getting quite large.
I still think the cold front frequency is a better gauge for an active season to come.
April Fools?
We're in agreement then.
I have not seen any African dust predictions.
What are people saying about the Trade Winds?
Ouch !!
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