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Just some unofficial words of advice, before people ask me why I'm such a party-pooper…

First, lose the plastic stick-on hood scoop.  You're not fooling anyone.  Really.

I could also throw the aero kit onto the "to-don't" list.  Have you tried going up/down a curb recently?

Second, ditch the "go-fast" stripes.  They're not attractive in any way, they're garish at best, and they kinda look like barbecue forks from the side.

Third, please ditch the oversized soup-can mufflers that make your car sound like a lawnmower with gastrointestinal problems.  No one, and I mean NO ONE, will confuse the angry-bumblebee sound your car makes with a small-block Chevy V8 coming up from behind.

Fourth, if your car could actually go as fast as you're trying to make it look it could, you wouldn't be running skinny little baby-tires that are about as big as my "doughnut" spare-tire.  You'd want enough rubber so that your car could actually stick to the road beneath it.  Otherwise, they're actually not bad-looking rims.

Finally, rather than spend so much buckage on pure crap and molestering an otherwise perfectly decent car, put that buckage into just buying a more capable base-model car.

I don't mean to beat up on this guy in particular, as I've seen plenty worse, but c'mon…

:D

Kinda like the "I installed a speedo that can read to 180mph!!". Shame the car maxes out at about 98... :D

Personally, I like being able to pull the car rather nicely without topping 3000. 2000 if I choose to do a RPTO ("reduced-power takeoff"). :D

No need to wind it up to redline like a small high-strung 4-banger just to get off the line...

I loooove pulling up alongside one of these Hondas or Hyondas or whatever (or in this case, a rare Ford done-up so garishly) when they're in "cruise mode" (ie, crawling down the main drag doing 20 or so, leading a parade) at a stoplight, in my "Q-Ship", and I just sit there waiting for my light to turn green, and they're watching the light from the cross-street go from green to yellow to red, inching up *into* the intersection before our light even goes green, and then once it does, I don't even floor it to spin the wheels, but just accelerate nice and smoothly, and literally *pass* them in as little as 1 car length while they're still winding up.

I especially love when I have my windows down, and I can do my slow and expressive 4-fingered "bye-bye!" wave. (Make an "ostrich head" with your hand, and sloooowly flap the 4 fingers up and down in a mockingly derisive manner. :D )

Hm? Folding?

Interesting vid, but I can only watch a few minutes of it at a time. Dunno, but I prefer to have my tires *stick* to the ground, and never quite understood the appeal of "drifting". On dirt roads when running a rally race, sure, slide all you want, but on pavement, those tricks have the potential to go *so* wrong...

Gotta say, though, the wannabes might like the attention to play Vince Diesel or whatever, but that's all they're doing, *playing*. Kinda like me dressing up as Darth Vader and going "woom! woom!" with a broomstick.

A car that can do those tricks on a *track*, ain't very driveable on real streets. One car I *really* wanted to get a picture of, was a schoolbus-yellow(!!) Honda or Hyonda or something (yeah, sorry, they all look alike to me), lowered almost to the ground, had such laughable negative camber that it probably handled like pure crap, oh, and you gotta *love* the whale-tail rear spoiler pressing down on the back of a -- wait for it... wait for iiiiiit! -- *FRONT*-wheel drive car (yes, let's lift the drive-wheels *off* the ground more and more the faster we go!), and so on and so on, that seriously, I almost wrecked my own car laffing so hard!

Most of those cars probably have the stock engine and drivetrain, and I'm *sure* they didn't convert the car to RWD or AWD.

But yeah, let's spend lots of bux dressing up the car in a clown-suit...

Wellp, I never really liked Buicks, as they were (and largely still are) "old-man cars", but I gotta tell ya, they can *pull*.

Since the same wonderful Buick 3.8L turbo-6 from the Grand National and GN/X, I always liked the Buick 3800s. Problem is, how to get around the "conservative" styling?

Simple. I don't care anymore. Mine doesn't scream "Gimme a ticket!", and yet I can pretty much outrun any rice-burner out there.

Gotta say, though, the stock "touring tires" should be the first things to go. I never liked the way the Regals in the family handled, because they just wanted to go *straight*, like a bowling-ball sliding down the gutter, you had to *push* it to get it to go in any other direction.

Well, guess what? When I went to the latest-gen Eagle GTs (I always ran GTs, then GT+4s, then unidirectional HRs when the GT+4s were discontinued, now back to GTs again!), it was like getting a brand new car. Point it, and it'd *go there*. I had no idea that just swapping tires could make so much of a difference. I always ran hi-po tires, so never had any other tires to compare with.

So I've been happy with my Q-Ship, as it's nice and low-profile, and the Vince Diesel wannabes get a somewhat frustrating surprise when they think they can beat the old-d00d off the line at a stoplight. :D

(Hint: when you see an "old man car" with fat tires, there's a *reason* for it. :D )

To be fair, I'm not talking about the late '80s generation, like the GNs, Montes, Cutlass Supremes, etc., but the late '90s to early '00s models.

And yeah, to me "low profile" tires are 60-series, enough rubber (and air!) that going into a pothole won't crack an alloy rim.

And sure, it's nice to "be proud of" something like a car, but I can see a nice paint job, nice rims, something to set the car apart, but sticking on a fake hood-scoop or side-vents, making it look like a "race car" when it's, well, *not*, is just kinda silly.

Ummm, okay. :D

Hjeh, thanks!

It *would be* a decent-looking car if only they'd just leave it alone.

I tried Molested Cars to see if the site's still alive, but the connection keeps timing out, so something might be up with it. Gives great examples of what *not* to do to a car...

Yep, I remember them.

Just saw a real old-timey Olds 442 over the weekend, what a nice and refreshing surprise!

Wellp, my "issue" is that they take a perfectly good car and visually wreck it, and laughably so. That's why the site www.molestedcars.com existed (still can't connect to it :þ ), to "showcase" what people do to their cars, that goes horribly, horribly, wrong.

Even wronger... :D

Now, just *where* to put push-bars in front??

Naw, I tried a bunch of times but could never connect. Probably is down, maybe forever.

Boo, hiss. That was a classic...


Oh, wait! GIYF (Goggle Is Your Friend, right?). I goggled it, and found:

http://molestedcars.net/

!!